How to Overcome Insurmountable Challenges

by Dr. Annette on July 1, 2008 · 9 comments

Overcome Personal Challenges - Dr. Annette ColbyYears ago, I realized that our most difficult personal challenges offer a unique opportunity to raise our sights, explore new potentials and possibilities, and cast off beliefs of limitation and doubt. Personal challenges are a way of working things out for ourselves and discovering new creative approaches for old problems.

 

It’s tempting to view personal challenges, such as depression, eating disorders, addictions, or weight issues as an illness or disease that must be fought or medicated, or as a shameful inner enemy that needs to be conquered. An alternate view is that challenges are our personal attempt to rise above inner repression, self-doubt, and insecurity. Rising to life’s challenges and overcoming personal obstacles is how we grow into a new higher potential of love and fulfillment.  

 

Although it may feel unfair, an obstacle is not a big test put upon us by the universe. Instead, we are aware of an obstacle only when we have brought ourselves to the edge of our current abilities. While we’re standing at the edge, things can certainly look bleak and hopeless. We can feel overwhelmed and desperately wish that someone would wave a magic wand and our problems would be whisked away. But if we could see our situation from a higher perspective we could also see that through our challenge we are learning that we can rely on ourselves even in the most difficult of situations.

 

Personal challenges help us to build a new identity. Through them we discover how to develop empowering self-leadership skills. By necessity, because we eventually try everything else, challenges lead us to reach inside and activate creativity, inner resourcefulness, and wisdom. Personal challenges necessitate that you must dig deeper than you ever thought possible – and what you discover is unexpected reservoirs of confidence, determination, self-esteem, and self-love.

 

Facing a Dead-End

If you are dealing with depression, addiction, anxiety and panic, an eating disorder, or repeated attempts at weight loss, you are dealing with a major personal challenge. These are the types of challenges that take you to down a long and difficult path… only to one day find yourself facing a dead-end. Not knowing how you can possibly move beyond your problem, you will feel worn out and discouraged, absolutely not knowing how to move forward.

 

Feelings of hopelessness, ineptitude, unworthiness, or even shame curse through your mind and body. All the negative beliefs you have about your inability to achieve success rise to the surface. You will feel so badly that you will berate yourself for ever thinking you could achieve your goal or overcome your challenge. You’ll wish you had never started this stupid journey. However, this dead-end, this place of excruciating self-doubt and agony is exactly the place you need to be right now.

 

Limiting Beliefs

A dead-end obstacle represents restrictive beliefs you hold about yourself, repressive beliefs about your ability to have what you want, or painful beliefs about life itself. The horrible feelings you are experiencing are not there because you are inadequate, being punished, or undeserving. Instead, because you stepped forward into creating change, the old beliefs that you once held hidden deeply within yourself have now become exposed.

 

Limiting beliefs are ideas that hold you back and keep you from becoming the person you want to be. Most times limiting beliefs are not true, but because you believe them to be true they act like brakes on your progress. Limiting beliefs can include ideas that some there is some character trait about you that is inescapable or unchangeable.

 

If you feel that some area of your life isn’t the way you want it be, yet you feel hopeless, helpless, or worthless to change it, then you probably have limiting beliefs. Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:

 

  • I can’t.
  • I am bad.
  • I won’t succeed, so there’s no point in trying.
  • I lack the ability to achieve my goal.
  • I can’t have what I want.
  • I’m not good enough.
  • I don’t deserve what I want.
  • I’m afraid of success.

 

Exposing the Land of Limitation

If you are facing an obstacle, don’t stop now. Although you would rather not be facing such difficulty, it is important that you keep going. Generally our limiting beliefs are hidden away – out of mind and out of sight. But because of your personal challenge you took risks and tried new actions. You wanted to see if you could move beyond your current reality.

 

Your actions led you to discover that so far you cannot have success, you cannot have what you want. And this is the point of your journey, to bring to the surface your limiting beliefs, your emotional resistance, and all the reasons why you believe you can’t have what you most want. Your challenge or goal is showing you the difference between the current reality that you live in and the reality that you want to live in. Something would have to be different… and that something is you.

 

Feelings Speak About What Is – Not What Can Be

You may not recognize your exact limiting belief, but when you are facing an obstacle you almost always can feel the energy that goes with your belief. Sometimes a limiting belief will make you feel anxious or angry. Other times you may feel overwhelmed, irritated, lethargic, or even depressed. If you’re feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are about to collapse in front of your goal, chances are you are in direct contact with a limiting belief.

 

What’s the solution? Take a breath, don’t run away from what you are feeling, and be willing to admit consciously what you believe to be true about you or your ability to navigate through this situation. As your beliefs rise to the surface, they will bring with them a plethora of difficult emotions. These emotions tell you what you currently believe about who you are and what you can be.

 

A New Potential Reality

There is the potential of a happier, brighter, more expansive reality beyond your obstacle. Yet, there’s a catch. That reality doesn’t exist yet. It has to be imagined, created, and allowed first – by you. To get to the other side of the obstacle requires envisioning yourself living the type of life you want to be living, and gaining new beliefs that will support you living that life. That’s the purpose of your challenge. You’re not fighting against what you don’t want, you are in the process of choosing the life you want to live, and then building the self-supportive beliefs necessary to allow you to live that life. If you are facing an obstacle, back up and examine your challenge. Why you want what you want, and what strengths you will gain by creating that success in your life?

 

How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Many of our limiting beliefs are stubborn, deeply entrenched, and feel unbearable. Yet to get beyond your challenge requires facing your current beliefs about life, others, and yourself, and seeing where those beliefs limit and hold you back. Instead of turning back in defeat or pushing relentlessly against an unmovable wall, decide to get acquainted with your beliefs.

 

Becoming aware of limiting beliefs is typically challenging, since beliefs tend to remain hidden in our subconscious. But if you are attempting to overcome a personal challenge, then you are in luck! With every new action you take, your fears and limiting beliefs are bound to rise up out of hiding. When they do, you can calmly ask yourself these questions:

 

  • What exactly are you telling yourself when the situation seems unachievable?
  • What do you feel to be true about yourself when you are facing a dead-end?
  • Why is your goal unattainable?
  • What skills do you lack to attain it?
  • Why don’t you deserve to achieve your goal?
  • How does this belief keep you safe?
  • What benefit do you get from holding this belief?

 

Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It’s a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs. To overcome your self-limiting beliefs, examine the beliefs you hold. Question their validity. Journal about them. Take a conscious look at them, and decide if those beliefs are really the ones you want to hold in your future. And then take action to replace them with better ones.

 

P.S. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love Your Highest Potential: The New Psychology of Understanding and Working with Self. This new energy book reveals how to overcome your own limiting belief systems and move forward to create the life you dream of living!

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen July 2, 2008 at 5:56 am

Fear of rejection is one personal obstacle that I wish to overcome. So, I ask myself “What’s love got to do with it?” When you love someone, but are afraid to upset that person, what does that tell you? It tells me that I am the one with the self-limiting beliefs.
In the past I have always run from my problems. However, I now know that this method doesn’t solve anything. I get so mad at myself sometimes, that I just want to scream! I do not “fight” with others, just myself. I have journalled many times, but, apparently I have not gone deep enough. This site gives me the courage to relay what I am actually thinking and I will be forever grateful to Dr. Annette Colby for the opportunity to say what I feel.

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Dr. Annette July 2, 2008 at 12:52 pm

Everyone carries within themselves self-limiting beliefs. Awareness that these limiting beliefs exist is how we continue forward on our own adventure of human evolution. Our journey in life is consciously identifying the beliefs that oppress and suppress our joy, and then deciding if we are willing to see if it is possible to move beyond them.

What is important is not delving deeper into where these beliefs came from or why we have them, but becoming aware that we have them.

So, I would suggest that you immediately give yourself a big huge gift of love and encouragement – for you are the brave soul who is willing to look at how you used to run away from problems and now you are willing to face them. Of course you do not yet know another way to deal with the situation (and so you get mad at yourself), but the new way will come. Breathe, trust yourself, and know that you are on the path of discovery!

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Marsha P. July 4, 2008 at 9:45 pm

As I was reading this, an interesting blending of all those little thought pieces in my mind occurred…kind of one of those ah-ha moments. As I am wanting to lose weight in a healthier, more loving way with my body/self, my perspective on the “how” is changing. I have always fought and fought and pushed and tried and put in effort towards that goal. No big surprise that it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t permanent, and most of all, it wasn’t peaceful. Needless to say, I always got to a certain point and couldn’t take it anymore and gave up.

A couple of phrases keep coming to mind. “That which we resist, persists” and the basic “every action creates an equal and opposite reaction.” I have resistance down to an art form (haha) and I am beginning to see the effects of all that resistance. I am beginning to recognize how often I use terms like “try,” “work,” and other words that indicate that I am pushing against something (basically, myself). It is beginning to sink in that all that pushing and striving and working is doing nothing more than creating more resistance on the other side! (insert thump on the head here!) lol

So…all that said…my honest plan is to relax and accept where I am, envision where I would like to be, and to allow myself to go there through love rather than striving, pushing, and work. Who needs all that resistance to fight against? Why not create a path that, although will not always be easy, will at least be without all that SELF-CREATED resistance? All that you have been telling me is finally sinking in…… lol

A fortune in a fortune cookie I opened yesterday said….

“If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life.”

Think the Universe is sending me a message?! ;o)

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Kathleen July 7, 2008 at 12:11 pm

The Universe is always sending us messages 24/7. The problem with mankind is that we don’t take the time to really listen as to what is going on around us. Instead of using words like “try” etc., use words like “choice” and “choose”. It is totally amazing how much better you will feel about yourself on your “road to discovery”. K.

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Arvin October 4, 2010 at 3:16 am

Great article! It’s important that we face these challenges head on to overcome them! Thanks! I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.

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AYSHER November 16, 2010 at 8:57 am

thanks coz i have finally known that being a teeneger is something i can handle.

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Jill March 30, 2011 at 11:16 am

Being a teenager is something that everyone goes through and everyone survives, and you will too.

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cath April 16, 2011 at 8:52 am

Annette,
I was taken to these words of yours today and what has gone on to happen to me feels like it has changed my life. Only tomorrow will tell! Thank you for your words…you met with me here today and in so doing I met with myself.I sense a compassionate change in myself and a renewed sense of trust in the Divine. Thank you and bless you Annette.

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Dr. Annette April 19, 2011 at 7:30 pm

When all is said and done, what seems to be most important is the relationship we form with ourselves. I wish you peace and the most beautiful loving relationship with yourself that all the universe has ever imagined.

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