The other day I received a question near and dear to my heart from a member of the professional networking group LinkedIn. The question read:
“Do you think it is best to read one self-help book by one author, or is it better to have a range of books? How do we know that one is better than another? I’ve read several books, but I am obviously doing something wrong as my life seems about the same as it was several years ago when I first came across them. I try and follow the ideas, advice, guidance etc., but either I’m not doing it right, or they are flawed.”
Each year, thousands of new self-help books promise to help you lose weight, overcome depression, or raise your self-esteem. Are these books helpful?
My experience is that a knowledgeable author can provide hope and inspiration that change is possible, and then break down the change process into a series of definable steps. A self-help book can provide a map of how to get from point A to point Z, and can tell us realistically what to expect along the journey.
When I examine a self-help book I may not agree with the author’s point of view, but a good self-help writer can convey the meaning in our suffering and offer reassurance that there is a way out of our suffering. Sometimes that is what we most need – compassion for ourselves and hope that change is possible.
As a counselor, I’ve read numerous self-help books and attended a multitude of therapy training classes. These books and classes often provided something quite unexpected. By “trying on” their model of therapy or healing, I was able to practice the system and understand something important about myself. Instead of leaving with a new counseling methodology, I left with a more clarified understanding of who I was and what I believed in.
My most recently published self-help book, “Body Redesign: Goal Setting Secrets for a Thinner Happier You” is a step-by-step goal-setting workbook for learning how to end overeating while also creating a better life. In the introduction, I explain my concept of how self-help books can be of value:
“Body Redesign provides a specific action plan to end emotional eating, compulsive eating, binge eating, secret eating, or bulimic behaviors. The point of the exercises is to provide a template to reveal what the tools of success are, why each tool is important, and simultaneously to provide you with an experiential opportunity to practice using those tools.
After you have worked through the plan for yourself, the basics will be part of your new vocabulary and thought process. You will know how to apply these same principles to other areas of your life. Having obtained the fundamentals, you will be free to experiment with these tools in your own creative way. Have fun with them, redesign them, and make them yours. In due course, as you master the concepts, you can move into a life beyond goal setting.
Ultimately, life is not really about systematically setting goal after goal. It is, however, a continuous process of freeing yourself from your own self-imposed limitations, discovering where you wish to direct your efforts and life-energy, and bringing new dreams into this reality. Setting goals, as described in this book, teaches you how to do that. Take the time and learn the fundamentals. Begin with the proven principles of success, apply them to your own life, and then be free to create your own system of success.”
Self-help books, if ingested like most people ingest the latest diet of the month tend not to work in the long-term. That’s because what is most important to improving the quality of our life is that we use a book or class to help us discover who we are, what works best for us, and what doesn’t work. A self-help book can open our eyes to new possibilities, it can help us tap into new energies and perspectives, but ultimately we can only heal ourselves.
If you are looking to self-help books to provide information about how to move beyond a challenge or problem, my “advice” is read a variety of books if you feel compelled to do so. As you are reading them, be aware of the words, sentences, or paragraphs that resonate within you. Be conscious of the concepts that echo inside. When an idea “resonates” within you, it means that particular concept has meaning and truth to you. Put your trust not in the self-help author, but trust your own inner signalling that a particular direction or action is right for you. Your truth is always inside of you, and never in another person. But sometimes, another person can speak the words that wake up the truth within that had been lying dormant.
My take is that a good self-help book can provide hope, light, and a shortcut into a higher awareness. With renewed inspiration, we are able to place fresh focus on developing a more satisfying life, and trust ourselves to make the decisions that are beneficial to our life path. Those are my views on self-help books. What do you think? Leave your comments on your experiences with self-help books!
Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Annette,
Self-help books are only good IF you agree with what the author is saying! In other words, a person already knows deep inside what is helpful to them. It is like a pat on the back and reaffirms what the person is already thinking. “Hey, I’m on the right road after all”.
If you disagree, then you shuck it off and say “this is BS”. I know that you can’t change your life unless you really want to. Remember the old adage “actions speak louder than words”.
This is my experience with self-help books.
Hugs, Kathleen
I still believe you should be on Oprah.