Should I Stay or Should I Go Now? Help me, I’m Stuck

Have you ever had the experience of being acutely aware of a personal problem or challenge – and awakened to the realization that change is a possibility? You comprehend that you could take action to create change… but you’re not exactly sure if you want to. You’re weighing the pros and cons, justifying that the situation just isn’t that bad. Or, maybe you don’t believe you are actually capable of changing it.  

Welcome to the contemplation stage of change. 

Contemplation and Rumination

Making major changes such as losing weight, quitting smoking, or altering your lifestyle is no easy undertaking. In an effort to help people create lasting change, James Prochaska*, author of “Changing For Good”, describes that permanent change involves moving through an important first step that he calls the Contemplation Stage of Change.

Contemplation is sort of like sitting on the fence of, “I’m not happy, but I’m not sure what to do.” There’s a sense of wanting a change things, but there’s also uncertainty and indecision. People in the contemplation stage are aware of a problem, but they are also undecided about whether or not they want to do anything.

The word contemplation itself comes from con meaning “to examine carefully,” and templar, referring to a period of time. Contemplation is a period of time when you allow yourself the grace to examine your situation and be undecided for a period of time. In the contemplation stage, no decision has been made and there is no commitment to move forward. However, contemplation is an important foundational layer of success if you know how to use it correctly.

Useful Exploration During Contemplation

If you’ve been considering changing a habit, this is the perfect time to allow yourself to explore situation. The contemplation phase can be very helpful when used correctly. Here are some positive ways of assessing your readiness to move into a life change:

Analysis Paralysis

The Contemplation Stage of Change is an important stage to go through on the way to achieving success. Yet it is common to get seriously stuck here - sometimes for years. Some people remain stuck in procrastination and contemplation for the rest of their lives. Even though change is wanted, it’s also opposed by a natural resistance to change. 

Reasons for getting stuck in the Contemplation Stage include: 

• continuing to think about the problem when the urge for action is felt
• searching endlessly for absolute certainty about what caused the problem
• waiting for the right time to change
• waiting for fear or anxiety to vanish before moving forward
• wishful thinking, “I wish this problem would just go away by itself.”
• wanting guarantees of the outcome ahead of time

Moving Into Action

If you’ve been contemplating, procrastinating, and dragging your feet but now you’re ready to move forward, then below are three innovative strategies to move past stuck and into action:  

1. What’s The Easiest Way to Eat an Elephant?

The easiest way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Sometimes it is difficult to begin taking action because you are overwhelmed by the enormity of what lies before you. Your goal looks HUGE . . . so daunting and complex that you freeze up. It helps to break down your goal into manageable bite-sized pieces.  

2. Talk it Out

Sit down with someone and verbalize the problem to yourself and others. It helps to get your thoughts and fears out into the open. Instead of keeping those thoughts trapped in your brain, you can get them outside of yourself and see them from a new perspective.  

• What is the problem?
• What you have done?
• What are you not been doing
• What are the obstacles to moving forward?
• Are the blocks internal or external?
• Where you are stuck? 

Once you’ve talked things out, brainstorm. Think of different approaches to the problem, no matter how strange.  

3. Take Risks

Start taking little risks in your everyday activities. This might be just what you need to jump start yourself into action. Do something you’ve never done before. Be willing to take a risk at doing something new and unfamiliar. Roller blade, try your hand at archery, or sign up for an indoor rock climbing session. Take a painting class at your local community college. Rearrange your living room furniture. Dye your hair a completely different color. Drive home a new way. Eat supper with the opposite hand. Smile at strangers. Eat something you can’t pronounce. Upset the norm somehow and you just may find yourself able to move forward on the challenge that is most important to you. 

Taking contemplation time to sort through your thoughts and feelings allows you to reach the next stage, which is… Action! So, when the moment arises that you feel called into action, allow yourself the love to follow through.  

* Prochaska, James; Norcross, John; DiClemente, Carlo. Changing For Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program For Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward. Collins Living, 1995. 

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

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Tagged as: confused, contemplation, frustrated, getting off the fence, Motivation, perfectionism, procrastinate, procrastination, sitting on the fence, stop procrastination