Guilt is a psychologically difficult emotional reaction felt when people believe they have done something wrong. One type of guilt occurs when a personal action, thought, or behavior is truly out of alignment with individual core values. This guilt stems from going against our own conscience. In this case, guilt can be an uncomfortable but beneficial catalyst to change our behavior into more personally meaningful directions.
A second type of guilt occurs when we feel guilty for situations we did not cause or have no control over. In this case, guilt stems from an underlying feeling of unworthiness, or a conditioned belief that other people’s needs and wants should come before our own. This second type of guilt involves a false sense of responsibility to someone other than ourselves.
In either situation, guilt is a strange, painful feel often involving self-reproach resulting from a belief that you have done something wrong. Your initial reflex to guilt may involve a knee-jerk reaction designed to rid yourself of discomfort as quickly as possible. For instance, you may attempt to squash the feeling down with food, busyness, distraction, or dissociation. Another impulse may be to jump instantly into action to right a wrong that you believe you have committed.
Those types of automatic reactions may bring rapid short-term relief, but they do not bring lasting, soul-liberating feelings of free will, sovereignty, and self-loving independence. That’s because when we stop and look at the underlying feelings beneath guilt, we notice it’s a form of helplessness. You believe you “should” be doing something other than your current actions but you don’t really have a choice to do otherwise, or you “should” do something other than what you really want to be doing.
Although guilt is horribly uncomfortable, the longer you put off facing guilt the worse you feel. Remember, as you release the feelings of guilt, you free yourself into a life of joyful self-determination and authentic self-love. Follow the steps below and learn how to release guilt and be “at choice” in your own life.
1. Acknowledge What You Feel
Take a breath and feel your guilt. Do you feel a tightening in the pit of your gut? A restriction in your chest? A painful clutching in your solar plexus? A queasiness? An uneasiness? These body sensations indicate where you hold the feelings of guilt. As you continue to breath, these stuck feelings can begin to release themselves and flow. Rather than pushing everything back down, ask your body to show you how it would like to breathe and allow those uncomfortable guilty feelings to rise out of your body and into your awareness.
2. Gain Awareness
As guilt begins its ascent up and out of your body, be aware of what you are experiencing. What are your emotions, what are thinking, and what do you believe about this entire situation. By learning how to be a witness to your experience, you gain wisdom without getting stuck inside of those thoughts and beliefs. Be curious about what’s going on inside of you and notice everything you can about your particular guilt. For example you may notice:
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How is guilt supposed to help me?
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Why do I feel guilty in this situation?
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What do I hope to accomplish by feeling guilty?
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Does feeling guilt help me accomplish what I want?
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What do I gain by feeling guilty?
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What does guilt cost me?
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How does guilt hold me back?
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How does guilt affect those around me?
In other words, feel into your guilt and explore the experience of your guilt as much as possible.
3. Imagine New Possibilities
When you feel finished exploring your guilt, or perhaps when you’ve gained insight about your feelings, take positive action to consciously create the type of feelings you want to be carrying. You can do this by breathing slowly and deeply into your body, and imagining how your life would be different if it were free from guilt. Follow your heart and wander down the path of a guilt-free life. How would your life be different? How would you relate to those around you? What sort of energy would you give off? Enjoy the feelings of independent, joyful, happy life. Breathe and expand the good feelings as you open your heart to receive what you have imagined.
4. Deliberate, Conscious Decisions
Your ability to choose direct, conscious decisions is the next key step toward a guilt-free life. You have established the underlying intentions of your guilt. You have imagined a life without guilt. Now is the time to make new choices that align with who you really are inside your core. What is the action that feels good in your heart, and that resonates with your true feelings? Although it may feel foreign and shaky, consciously choose that self-loving action and follow through. Stand tall. Believe in yourself. Your personal joy matters to you and it matters to the world. Enjoy your ability to be maturely responsible for your own loving life and actions.
Overcoming guilt is not something that happens overnight. Yet, with practice, it’s possible to lead a life that is free from guilt. If you find yourself feeling guilty again, remind yourself of your decision to think and behave differently. Continue to practice the four steps above and keep on going in the knowledge that your effort is worth it!
Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.
