It may seem surprising to some people, but the human capacity for enjoyment is great. Reward areas in the brain seem to be greater than areas that produce unpleasant experiences.
If this does not appear to be currently true for you, explore how to expand the pleasure experiences in your mind, body, and life. Teach yourself to ask, “What can I do right now, today, while I’m feeling unhappy to produce some pleasant experiences?” Then look for pleasing moments. If none are present, intentionally seek occurrences of happiness. Decide to search for thoughts or activities that feel good. No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, no matter what your experience, give yourself permission to make it your dominant intent to look for what you want to see.
Allowing yourself to focus on feeling better is not necessarily an easy task to achieve. It takes vigilance and determination to create a change of such great magnitude.
First, you have to decide you want to feel better.
Secondly, you must take a deep breath and accept that it is your responsibility to take initiative and do something for yourself to feel better. You make a decision that your life is valuable and meaningful, and that you are ultimately responsible for the beliefs you hold about yourself, the thoughts you dwell upon, and the actions you take or do not take.
Third, you take action and do things you do not normally do. You look into your own inner creativity and ask, “What could I do right now to make today slightly better than it would be if I just let it run its natural course?”
Initially, you will not create a fantastic life just because you started looking for the joy within yourself and within life. It’s common to be skeptical and want instant results. Realize that generally everything starts small. However, your actions, if you persist, will be cumulative, and the joyful feelings you seek will expand with intention and practice.
* Adapted from Your Highest Potential: The New Psychology of Understanding and Working with Self by Dr. Annette Colby
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I am always suprised that feeling good doesn’t “just happen”. I know for myself I have to make a conscious choice to “be still” inside and know peace. As soon as I do this, my world returns to calm. I just realized that the positive side of having to remind myself to be still so much, is I can do it much quicker than I used to. Thanks for the bump in my confidence!
Hi Adrienne,
You’re right. When we’re stressed or unhappy, feeling good doesn’t just happen all on its own. Increasing our level of joy of happiness is a decision that we make and a decision we support with our thoughts and actions. And it’s not a one time decision. It may be a daily, or even hourly, decision to remind ourselves that feeling happy is our primary concern in life and we alone are responsible for creating this state.
Congratulations on allowing yourself to sit still and find your center! You’ve told us all that with practice, being able to find our calm center becomes quicker and easier. Thanks for sharing your perspective that sometimes what we want takes time, but we can achieve success.
Wishing you continued inner peace and outer joy!
Any change in a “normal” routine is always good for me. I love spontaneous actions……especially when I can stop what I am doing and go! Variety is the “spice” of my life! The dust will be on the furniture until I return. haha
Hi Kathleen,
It’s easy to get bored in the comfort of doing the same things in the same way at the same time. I love that you are so willing to do something different! Something big, something small, something silly, something out of the ordinary. Variety truly is the spice of life!
Enjoy your spontaneity and maybe your husband (or the cleaning fairies) will dust while you’re out.