The other day I shared a quote by Sally Edwards, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”
That quote had me thinking about how often during a day I do things differently or how set in my ways I actually am.
Today I’m sitting here getting used to a new keyboard and new type of roller ball mouse—and realizing how much the brain does not like new ways. Something as simple as typing and using the new mouse is no longer automatic. The keys aren’t where they once were, and the mouse works completely differently. I can feel the frustration build as things do not work as they once did.
Positive Expectations Lead to the Reality of Frustration
As with all self-imposed change, there is the positive expectation that of course there will be some adjustments necessary, but how hard could that be? But then, as the day wears on the new skills aren’t integrated so quickly, there’s the temptation to throw it all away and go back to the way things were. The tried and true, although filled with limitation, was at least working.
How many times do we find ourselves trying to move forward on a new path, or a new decision, filled with hope and optimism, but then face the frustration of attempting to do something we are not yet skilled at? The newness feels uncomfortable and frustration builds quickly. If the frustration gets big and discomforting, it often seems easier to back to the way things once were.
Moving Forward With the Easy Button
How do we move forward with change when things just don’t seem like they are working out as anticipated? Here’s a few steps that I take to make change easier:
Before moving forward, stop, breathe, and let the frustration dissipate. Nothing good comes from having the stress of frustration in the lead.
Next, remember why you wanted change in the first place. What was the change going to allow that you didn’t have before? In my case, I wanted the feelings of more comfort for my wrists and body, and the ease of more creative flow for my writing, as I sit at my desk typing.
It’s only now, when frustration has ebbed, that it’s time to remember the original vision and bring the excitement back to life. The original idea for change was good and had enough energy to compel action, and even though the reality of change must be navigated, the idea is still a good idea. Close your eyes, breathe in the good feeling and let it expand.
With that good feeling embodied, imagine having an internal easy button. Talk to your mind, talk to your body, and let yourself know that you would like to move through the learning curve with grace and ease. Breathe and make the decision, from your heart, that this change can flow quickly.
Then, for me, it’s back to typing and using the mouse. Conscious breath, the release of frustration, and imagination can make the journey easier and more rewarding, but the journey is still required to learn, grow, and evolve.
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Thanks for this post Dr. Annette. I tend not to adapt to change very easily and I can fully relate to your keyboard and mouse problem…meaning that anytime I try something new (change) I’ll grumble about it and how it’ll take some getting to used to. I;ll definitely have to remember to use these methods the next time I willingly (or unwillingly) change something.
I get all excited about change, it’s bringing change into physical reality that is often problematic
I, too am usually excited by the IDEA of change. I find that when it’s time for the physical change, that’s when my feet dig in and my human says “Wait! I didn’t know you were actually going to do….”. If I can remind myself to take a breath, it helps and when I don’t remember there is always my son or my husband who reminds me to “breathe through it”. I guess they were listening
Changes are coming……God grant me patience!
Congratulations that changes are coming! Hold on to your hat! But mostly, remember to breathe, tell yourself that all is well, and count on your friends!