Depression feels like nothing is ever going to be good again. It’s a place filled with hopelessness, endless suffering, and no memory of what it feels like to be happy. Nothing seems worth doing. It’s as if someone cast a spell and removed every ounce of joy and energy. You feel bad about yourself, worthless, like you did something wrong. Living in a world that bleak, heavy, and devoid of spiritual vitality makes some people feel like giving up.
What’s even worse is feeling alone in the experience. You are not alone and there are many people who understand, who have been where you are, who can reassure you that there is validity in your experience, and who can provide resources for hope and help. Below is a list of top ten questions that can help you get some answers about depression.
Am I crazy to hurt so much?
No, you are not crazy. There are many reasons that depression hurts so much, but that doesn’t mean you are crazy. Depression hurts because the experience brings up many of our limiting and painful beliefs, assumptions, and fears about life and about ourselves. Our perceived inadequacies and self-doubt rise up to meet us. Unable to run away of push them back down, our mind goes into a type of hyper-driven state as it attempts to fix the depression.
As the mind spins like a hamster trying unsuccessfully to end the depression, stress is generated. Stress makes a difficult situation even worse as we now believe ourselves to be in a life-threatening position. Stress releases adrenaline, tightens our grip, makes our breathing shallow, and aggravates stomach upset, insomnia, and other physical aches and pains. Unable to run or hide from depression, the stress gets us frozen right in the middle of it.
When you’re feeling frightened, helpless, and crazy, take several long, slow, deep, conscious breaths. As you continue to breathe gently look inside to find intuitive ways to get yourself out of the panic. Some ideas include taking a walk, writing in your journal, talking to someone, going outside in nature, or taking a bath. Finding small ways to relieve your stress won’t end the depression, but it will ease the pressurized crazy feeling.
What are the symptoms of depression?
Depressed mood for most of the day
Persistent sad or “empty” feelings
Loss of appetite or loss of weight
Eating more than usual and gaining weight
Trouble sleeping, insomnia, or oversleeping
Anxiety
Feeling tired all the time or finding everything is an effort
Not caring anymore about work, hobbies, friends, or sexual activity
Difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly, or indecisiveness
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
Feelings of worthlessness
Excessive or inappropriate guilt
Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
What feelings are normal during depression?
Guilt
Worthlessness
Denial
Anger
Loneliness
Sadness
Restlessness
Helplessness
Hopelessness
Overwhelm
Nervous
Inadequate
Apathy or loss of interest
Withdrawal from friends, family, and life
What other experiences are typical with depression?
Frequently feeling on the verge of tears
Waking up early in the morning, with difficulty returning to sleep
Feeling worse in the morning
Feeling anxious or irritable
A gloomy view of the future
Physical pain or headaches
Cravings for certain foods
What can I do about my feelings of depression?
Express yourself. A common tendency is to push down uncomfortable feelings while hoping they’ll go away on their own. However, pushing down your depression is neither healthy nor your speediest course to feeling better. What does work is giving your emotions and feelings expression. Talking honestly to someone about what you’re going through, or writing your experience in a journal frees up some of the energy of those heavy emotions and helps you get through the day.
What can I do to take care of myself?
Sometimes, nothing really helps much, except getting through an especially difficult day. One of the best ways to “get through it” is to take radical care of yourself right now, when you need it most. If you’re having a really bad day, it may be a good idea to withdraw for a short time if you can. Take a walk in nature. Sit outside in the sunshine. Take a warm bath. If you’re at work, consider going home early or giving yourself a mental health day. Look inside yourself and engage in the actions that bring comfort.
What can I do when I can’t sleep?
Sometimes people with depression have difficulty sleeping. There are medications that can help, but there are many other, non-medication ways to help with sleep:
Take a long warm bath scented with lavender
Listen to relaxation CDs
Read something inspirational, healing, spiritual, or religious
Avoid caffeine
Drink a cup of relaxing herbal tea such as chamomile
Drink a glass of warm milk
Write in your journal
Lower the temperature in the room
Use soothing aromatherapy oils such as lavender, vanilla, chamomile, and jasmine
Try signing a lullaby to yourself
What can I do when I don’t have any motivation?
Never underestimate the power of nature to heal. Getting outside in nature can have a profound effect on both your psyche and your health. You may not have motivation to get some of the big things done, but find the decision within that will get you outside. Make a decision and give yourself a little push just to get beyond the apathy and lethargy. Take yourself out in nature, alone wandering through the woods, walking through the park, sitting by a creek, or smelling the wind. Sometimes you need to feel the earth under your feet, to bury your toes in the grass, or walk in the woods and feel the sacred energy of very old large trees. Today, go outside and notice a bird, a butterfly, or the rustle of the wind through the leaves.
I’m feeling overwhelmed with life. What should I do?
Feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated are symptoms associated with depression. If you find that you’ve let things pile up and now everything seems insurmountable, it’s time to either enlist help or break things up into smaller tasks. Instead of, “I will clean the entire kitchen” try, “I will put the dishes into the dishwasher.” Instead of “I will organize my house” try, “I will clean my bathroom sink.” Once you’ve finished your task, take a deep conscious breath and recognize your achievement.
What should I do when I’m thinking thoughts of suicide.
Suicidal thoughts are noisy and chaotic, and they bring an energetic sense of urgency. Giving yourself permission to express your thoughts of suicide brings that energy and urgency out into the open. Though it’s a natural tendency to hide suicidal thoughts, explore those suicidal ideas in a manner that brings them outside yourself. Talk to someone, often, about what you’re feeling and how it feels to be you right now. If you’re feeling suicidal, bring that into the conversation. Find someone who can observe and listen in a calm, nonjudgmental, and non-confrontational manner. Don’t wait until things get better—or worse. Call someone—a friend, family member, counselor, clergy, or suicide prevention hotline—that is capable of listening with supportive attention.
Depression is a process and the more you know about that process, the more you can help yourself move through the experience. If you or someone you know is depressed, Depression Freedom is a powerful book that reveals new insights about the nature of depression… and how to move through it. Depression Freedom is a must read for anyone who has ever been depressed, everyone who struggles with deep depression or is even now feeling like there is no way out, their friends and family members, as well as counselors and therapists seeking practical, real life healing tools and an empowering message of hope and transcendence.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for bringing awareness to this mental illness. Many people need to know that they are not in it alone and that it is something that can be cured. Also family members and close friends need to be aware of how to deal with closed loved ones who have depression. They need to understand that it’s not so easy for someone to just “snap out of it” it’s a serious mental illness and needs to be dealt with in a sensitive way. Thank you so much for sharing!!
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Another great article, Annette. It is so helpful to have practical things you can do for yourself while depressed. It’s hard enough to move through depression without figuring out how to take care of yourself during it, too. As always, your writings are a beacon of light to those who are in the dark.
I am actually reading this at 4:31 in the morning because I, also suffer from depression. I could not get to sleep so I started to surf the web when I found this!
This describes how I am feeling so well. I thought I was crazy for a while because I’d have random emotional outburst’s and I’ll cry, cheer up, cry. It is driving me insane! I’m learning to cope with my depression a lot better after my suicide attempt and I just want to thank you for this because it is bringing awareness to those who do not understand. Actually this helped me learn a thing or two.
Thanks!