We’ve all experienced situations in which we become frustrated. Rather than being able to maintain a calm, centered, and relaxed state of inner confidence, we feel the intense bristle of emotion and tension and helpless to do anything about it.
Frustration happens when we believe we need something and we can’t seem to find a way to fulfill that need. We want things to run smoothly, and when we can’t seem to achieve what we want in a particular situation frustration happens. In other words, we don’t get what we want. Frustration is also a common emotional response to opposition.
Examples of frustration in everyday life are numerous. It can happen when you are sitting in traffic, when you can’t stop your newborn baby from crying, or when you’re trying to achieve a goal and you feel that you are blocked from reaching a successful outcome. It’s the feeling you get when your car doesn’t start and you’re late for work, or when your puppy won’t stop barking and you want to sleep.
Frustration goes beyond irritation. It’s related to anger and disappointment, with feelings of dissatisfaction or discouragement when our needs, goals, or expectations are not met. Some level of frustration is expected in our lives, but if that stress is left unresolved, it saps our energy, leaving us feeling tired, increasingly helpless, cynical, and even resentful. That tension can lead to blood pressure increasing, a clutching chest, headaches, and severe body tension. With prolonged stress, a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion occurs. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing left to give.
Different people deal differently to extreme frustration. Some people who are more expressive will display their frustration inappropriately and then feel embarrassment or regret afterward. They may make rash, reactionary decisions, or display unsuitable anger towards others while blind to the consequences of their actions. Other people, for example those who are more introverted, may keep the energy of their frustration bottled up inside. Some people become emotional and cry. While crying can often be a positive form of energetic release, it can also leave us feeling disempowered and unable to manage our emotions.
None of these approaches are wrong; however they all come with potentially counterproductive outcomes. Feeling frustration is neither wrong nor weak. What is important is having self-empowering ways to handle our frustration. If you feel lost in dealing with frustration or wanting new coping strategies, read these tips for converting the energy of your frustration into positive actions.
Seven Secrets to Turn Frustration Into Success:
Awareness
Become more adept at catching yourself in the act of being frustrated. When you notice you’re getting frustrated—or even over the top frustrated—stop. Take a deep breath, and identify the chatter going on inside your mind. What you are feeling frustrated about? It may seem obvious, but often the issue of exactly why we feel frustration is clouded. Naming your frustration is an important first step.
Take a Break
When you get really frustrated, take a time out. Go outside for a few minutes. Take a short walk. Go get a cup of coffee. Taking a few minutes off can help you cool down and calm down. Frustration also comes from trying too hard. Once some of the stress has dissipated and you feel a bit more refreshed, you can get back into the game with new resourcefulness.
New Perspective
Step back from the situation that is causing you to feel frustrated. This doesn’t mean run and pretend nothing happened. Just take a step back from the thought patterns that are fueling your frustration, take a few deep breaths, and let yourself relax. When you’re ready, dissociate from the situation and look at the situation from an interested or curious perspective. Rather than being in the thick of things, step out of the situation and be an observer. From this new vantage point you’ll often see other possible solutions.
Emotional Expression
Express your emotions in a healthy way by talking about what is bothering you or writing your emotions in a journal. Writing is not only a great way to disperse the energy of frustration; it also puts things outside of you so that you can gain new perspective about how to solve the issue.
No More Victim Mentality
When experiencing extreme frustration, one reaction is to want to quit. However, quitting because of a victim mentality leaves us with lowered self-confidence and even more frustration. Frustration often occurs because things seem too difficult for us to handle. That’s probably because we don’t yet have the skills, knowledge, or techniques necessary to have what we want. However, that’s also the great opportunity that frustration provides: Frustration gives us new opportunities to grow and gain self-empowerment. Let yourself know that life happens to everyone, others have gotten through similar situations, and that somehow you will get through this too.
Nourish Your Creative Side
When you’re feeling overly frustrated and unable to handle a situation or a particular challenge, take a break and find a way to express your creativity. List to music, paint, turn on the music and dance! Find a short creative project that you really enjoy. By tapping into you creative nature, you’ll feel better and instantly be more connected to your core self.
Imagine a Positive Outcome
Once you’ve taken some steps to breathe, relax, and settle down, start creating a new belief that you can handle this situation in better ways. Imagine yourself achieving your desired outcome. Imagine yourself handling the situation with calm and ease. You might not know all the steps of exactly how you will solve this situation, but don’t let that stop you. You can still take the time to imagine and feel yourself being successful. Imagination will inspire you to keep moving forwards with heart and new energy.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello Annette,
I really enjoyed your post, especially the part about moving beyond the Victim Mentality into a reality of possibilities. Both useful and valuable. Thank you
Avinoam,
Thank you for being here and sharing your reactions to this article.
Moving beyond a victim mentality requires much courage. I typically don’t find myself blaming other people for my reality, because I absolutely know that I create everything that I experience. But, I have found myself playing the victim role in regards to intense emotions such as frustration, or in regards to my body when something unexpected occurs such as a broken tooth requiring a root canal.
On this path of awakening we ask ourselves to move beyond old conditioning and old limiting beliefs. We ask ourselves to stop cowering in fear to our emotions. We ask ourselves to move into a new relationship with our body.
For example, the body knows how to heal and rejuvenate itself, but first we have to figure out how to get out of the way and give the body permission to heal and repair. That’s a huge learning curve. During the process when we haven’t quite figured it all out, when we can’t move beyond chronic pain, or we can’t heal an old injury, it’s easy to believe we are at the mercy of our body.
This path of awakening consciousness is a journey of new harmony between the body, mind, and spirit. It is the melding of the spirit with the body. Learning how to leave the victim mentality behind is a requirement. Winston Churchill stated, “Responsibility is the price of greatness.” And so it is with the journey of the Divine Self!
This is entirely useless to someone who is actually frustrated . . . FYI
Take a Break – I had to stop reading at this paragraph. Take a short walk is one thing but suggesting going and getting a cup of coffee is ridiculous. You are talking about how to deal with frustration and encouraging a caffine? Why not add in there, go and have a beer or have a smoke? Thats my idea of a relaxing break – fill your body full of shit and you will have a clearer state of mind.
Hello Hayley…Thank you also for sharing your reactions to my little article. Clearly some of my thoughts have not resonated well at all with what your inner intelligence is recommending for you–and that is awesome. Perhaps you can share with us what works best for you?