Many of us are taught that the way to increased confidence is to erase the negative thoughts from our minds. We’re trained to block negative thoughts, and only think positive ones. But stopping negative thoughts only creates an imbalance in energy. It denies what is real, and creates false positives.
Negative thinking does not cause self-doubt. Doubt is a suppression of self. We suffocate who we are, jamming up energy in the body, clouding over vitality, and leaving life dull and passionless. We end up feeling compressed, small, trapped, and stuck.
The best way out of doubt is to begin going back into yourself, into what you truly know and feel about yourself, and then express it. One way to create this path of self-expression is to use compassionate self-communication. It’s not about eliminating negative thinking, but about being truthful about your current situation, and also supporting yourself in an honestly encouraging way.
Self-supportive conversations involve talking to yourself, your body, and your mind in a way that you are your own best friend instead of worst enemy. It’s about deciding to believe that you deserve to succeed rather than fail. If you’re filled with doubt about who you are, or why you’re here, reconnect with the truth in your heart. You are safe in this very moment, and tomorrow will come. Breathe, let go, and venture into your heart where you will find the love and calm you seek. You are deserving of feeling good in your body, worthy of focusing on joy, worthy of receiving blessings and abundance.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
You know, I often fight (well, not really “fight”) with my triathlon coaches about positive thinking. I really feel like when I say, “I’m not a great runner”, that’s it’s realistic. I know I’ll get better in time, but right now I’m just not that great; I haven’t reached my full potential. They get real upset with me because they see that as negative thinking and ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy. I see it differently though: I know where I am (realistically) and I know where I want to go (again a realistic goal) and I know what I have to do to get there.
I guess they just don’t want to feel my reality.
Donna´s last blog ..Triathlon Girl Talks Tactics LOL!
Dear Donna,
I checked out your “Go Mommy Go” website and LOVED your energy and philosphy of “getting busy doing things I don’t want to regret not having done!” How cool is that!
I really get what you are saying about the use of words. Years ago I went down a similar path, buying into the popular belief of positive thinking. But as you have noticed, it’s the energy contained within your words that is most important. It’s our core beliefs that create our world, not what we “think.” Positive thinking is mostly a mental overlay that serves to throw a blanket over what we truly believe. In this regard, postive thinking alone doesn’t do much to change our world.
When your coaches hear you saying, “I’m not a good runner” they are paying attention to the words themselves, not the layers of feelings and truths contained within those words. Your coaches are trying to help you succeed with the tools they have. it could be that they are great coaches, but your wisdom of self empowerment, beleif systems, and your personal ability to create the change and outcomes desired far exceeds their level of understanding. I have a suspion that it’s not that “they don’t want to feel into your reality” but instead that they are unable to feel into your reality.
When you say, “I’m not a good runner” what you believe you are expressing is the entire full rich realistic personal truth that contains the energy of “Right now I’m not a good runner, or at least not as good of a runner as I’m going to be; I’m just now learning how to step into my full potential.”
So I’m curious to ask, if that is what you are attempting to express why not say it all? Why condense down that beautiful expression of self into a partial expression? What if the next time you hear yourself saying, “I’m not a great runner” you take a deep breath and feel into your words. Check with yourself to see if your verbal expression into the world honestly and energetically matches your inner self. Does your verbal expression of yourself match the inside beliefs of yourself? If so, everything is fine. If not, are you condensing, concealing, or holding back because it serves your highest purpose? If not, consider allowing your words to be a fuller expression of your core. Not for your coaches, and not because of any positive thinking agenda, but to create more balance and empowerment for you.
Thanks for sharing your great story with us. Wishing you tremendous discovery and joy on your triathlete adventures!!
With love, Annette
I am truly amazed at the beautiful things you write. What a wonderful, gentle reminder to go back the beginning, to your heart, to find what you seek.
Hi Adrienne,
As Donna mentioned in her above comments, it is within our true self that we know who we are and how to create the life we desire.
Your heart shares much beauty and wisdom into this world. May you alway find what you seek.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! Quite honestly, I think I’m just lazy when it comes to verbalizing! It’s something I need to improve though. By the way… this is Donna from Ride Like a Girl. I just recently changed up my blog. When you first started Divine Self, I answered a few questions for you! Yep! I’ still tune in.
Donna´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
I love your work. pls can i have some of your pdf work. thanks