Negative thinking does not cause self-doubt. Doubt is a suppression of self. We suffocate who we are, jamming up energy in the body, clouding over vitality, and leaving life dull and passionless. We end up feeling compressed, small, trapped, and stuck. 

The best way out of doubt is to begin going back into yourself, into what you truly know and feel about yourself, and then express it. One way to create this path of self-expression is to use compassionate self-communication. It’s not about eliminating negative thinking, but about being truthful about your current situation, and also supporting yourself in an honestly encouraging way. 

Self-supportive conversations involve talking to yourself, your body, and your mind in a way that you are your own best friend instead of worst enemy. It’s about deciding to believe that you deserve to succeed rather than fail. If you’re filled with doubt about who you are, or why you’re here, reconnect with the truth in your heart. You are safe in this very moment, and tomorrow will come. Breathe, let go, and venture into your heart where you will find the love and calm you seek. You are deserving of feeling good in your body, worthy of focusing on joy, worthy of receiving blessings and abundance.

Each one of us was born with an innate inner wisdom that guides our lives and serves as an inner measure of personal truth. Inner wisdom is that part of us which is beyond our rational, logical and analytical mind. It’s that inner sense of knowing what is right for us, even though there is no advance proof that we’re making the right decision. Inner wisdom is a feeling of peace even within a difficult situation. It’s the clarity we need to help us move through stress or unanticipated challenges. 

Why Do We Feel Disconnected from Our Inner Wisdom?
If inner wisdom is so powerful, why is it often so elusive or difficult to trust? One reason we don’t trust our inner wisdom is because it directs us to make choices that are aligned with independence and autonomy. It is our inner voice leading us down the path of personal meaning and fulfillment, while at the same time leading us away from the most popular, comfortable or safest path. Our inner wisdom guides us away from conformity and control and moves us toward new experiences and choices. 

Inner wisdom is often elusive as a result of years of neglect. Having shut down parts of ourselves, we often place everyone else’s needs and desires above our own, or habitually place personal priorities and dreams at the bottom of our to-do list. With all this busy activity, we may rarely take time to be still, breathe, and tune into our own dreams and inner guidance. 

In addition we have lost faith in our own ability to trust our hearts and bodies. With this loss of faith, we readily turn to outside sources of information above our own inner sense of guidance. For instance, we trust experts telling us what, when and how much to eat, how to take care of our bodies, and even what to think and say. We dismiss our own inner wisdom for the perceived comfort or ease of letting others be responsible for our choices and actions. 

Reconnecting
Although others may have great ideas and suggestions, when it comes to knowing what is best for us, only we know the answers. It is by learning to listen to our inner wisdom that we take back the true direction of our lives. Each of us has the ability and wisdom to make our own decisions, whether or not those decisions fit in with popular positions. 

How do we get back in touch with our inner wisdom? Inner wisdom thrives in an atmosphere of self-love, patience, and acceptance. To listen, we give ourselves permission to hear our inner wisdom and permission to connect with our personal power. In addition, we quiet the mind and gracefully allow our inner wisdom to present itself in an unrushed and unforced naturally flowing manner. 

Often we connect with our inner wisdom in a variety of ways, without even knowing that we do so. For example, inner wisdom shows up in dreams, daydreams, or ideas that come from outside of the logical mind. Inner wisdom can be a meaningful coincidence or synchronicity. Have you ever picked up a book, opened it at random and read a sentence that has a powerful effect on you? Or perhaps turned on the television, flipped through the channels, and then suddenly stopped on a show that seemed to speak directly to you? These are all open avenues of communication from your own inner wisdom to your conscious mind. 

Listening to your inner wisdom is a habit that takes time and patience. To build trust with your inner wisdom, relax and be gentle with yourself. Make time to breathe, set your anxiety, worry, or stress aside, and ask, “What will make me happy?” or, “What is my next best step?” When you hear your answer—which may or may not appear in that exact moment—acknowledge your wisdom and take action. Remember, no one knows better than you what is best for you.

You know quite well,
deep within you,
that there is only a single magic,
a single power,   
a single salvation . . .
and that is called loving. 

Well then,
love your suffering.
Do not resist it, do not flee from it
It is only your aversion that hurts,
nothing else.

~  Herman Hesse ~

Look closely at your own will. Is it frequently:

Pushed around by the will of other people?

• Influenced by the opinions of others?
• Suppressed by your own feelings, such as depression, guilt, anger, or fear?
• Immobilized by inaction and lack of direction?
• Weakened by self-doubt?

Notice if you generally do what you wish, from the core of your being, because you have willed it, or does some other factor dominate? Do you mold yourself to the expectations of others? What happens when you tell yourself, “I can create my life exactly the way I want it, in all dimensions — body, work, family, relationships, community, and the larger world?” How does your inner voice respond?

Will Versus Willpower

Will is not to be confused with old-fashioned willpower. Stern, harsh, self-critical actions are not what we are talking about here. Willpower contains the heavy emotional burden of what you “should” be doing or “should not” be doing, instead of what you want to be doing. It is filled with “trying” and “hoping” to do things while having doubt and lack of intention and confidence.

The true function of will serves to provide direction, not to impose upon you. Will involves no threat or sense of guilt or punishment. Instead, will springs from within your core and contains life, excitement, and even passion. Obviously, moving forward in your life with will also requires effort and determination. It’s not easy to create change or set out in a new direction. Yet when your actions are born from free will, you move forward knowing that your efforts are important to you.

Choice and Decisiveness Strengthening Exercise

Activating will implies that you act from clarity of self, rather than impulse, desire, or habit. How can you strengthen will? By becoming aware of your choices! Instead of living your life on autopilot or by force of habit, become aware of your everyday actions and behaviors. There is an opportunity to strengthen will in each moment. Here are just a few ways of activating will in various situations throughout life: 

• Try something new.
• Make a plan and then follow it.
• Do something extremely slowly.
• When facing a minor choice, choose without hesitation.
• Act out of character.
• Refrain from saying something you are tempted to say.
• Do something that makes you feel insecure.

 Activating and strengthening your will is a conscious choice. It is also a courageous choice. Will requires that you take risks, do things that are different and often out of your realm of comfort. At times you may fail or others may judge you. But you can do it! You can strengthen your will, give yourself freedom, happiness, and live the life that is meaningful to you. It is only possible to be truly happy when you are first true to yourself!

When we’re in the middle of a difficult experience or uncomfortable life situation, it often feels as if we can’t move forward. We feel trapped in feelings of doom and gloom, unable to motivate, or unsure of which way to turn.  

However, no matter where we are in life there is always a fork in the road. And if we pursue that brave path of personal choice and personal will, we can have a dramatic impact on our life. 

As always, follow your heart. Follow what feels best and right even if it does not make sense and you cannot see how it will work. Know that you are always safe and loved. Be good to yourself and give yourself what you need and the universe will follow your lead.

Often, we live our lives without making conscious choices for ourselves. We accept the circumstances of our life, taking whatever comes along. One day we wake up and realize we’ve been living a life that doesn’t feel authentic. We’re not happy. We keep doing what we think we should be doing to get by, yet feel lost, empty, and maybe even depressed. Then we convince ourselves we don’t have the ability to choose differently.

For example, you feel unhappy, but tell yourself, “I have spent so many years moving ahead in this job, I can’t possibly leave it now.” Or, “My family has such expectations for me, I should fulfill those expectations whether I like it or not.” Or, “I’m so overweight, it’s impossible to do anything about it now.” No matter how alien you feel in your situation, how trapped you feel, you believe that you don’t have a choice in the matter.

Will is about knowing that you always have a choice. It is about trusting your instincts and deciding where you want to go in life. Will involves the creative spark of independence and self-determination. Will is your determined purposefulness, conviction, and resolve to live a life beyond the confines of should’s, have-to’s, and feeling trapped.  

Choose to make it a good day!

Do you allow yourself to live in a way that is right for you? Do you follow your intuition, trust your body, and engage in actions that increase the overall meaningfulness of your life? Over the next days be curious as you increase awareness of your life and your actions. Allow yourself to be truly interested as you ponder the following questions:

When will you dare to follow your heart and intuition on a consistent basis?

When will you dare to trust your inner wisdom and your body wisdom without your mind always analyzing and having the last say?

When will you be the person who stops the cycle of being perpetually engaged in the quest for a healer that can save you from yourself?  

When will you take immediate action on the decisions that you know are right for you (without knowing in advance how things will turn out)? Or will you continue to ignore those insights, push your knowingness down, then feel crappy, eat, drink, or numb out, get depressed, and look for a new healer (diet, shopping excursion, etc.) to fix you?

When will you stop fearing your heart, hating your body, and despising life itself and instead begin to actively look for everyday ways to increase genuine pleasure?

When will you stop doing what tortures you and justifying your actions?

When will you stop ignoring your Self, your Body, and your Spirit?

When will you take a deep breath, listen to your true feelings and show up for yourself in a new way?

Living right isn’t defined in any big “rule’s of life” book. Instead, it occurs when you listen, trust, and take joyful action on intuitive inner guidance. Today can be the day that you decide to live the way that is right for you! Follow your heart and watch the wonderful new way life begins to unfold.

About the Author: You do not need to go through life exhausted, depressed, stressed, or overweight! Imagine waking up each morning with joy and positive energy that lasts throughout the day! Subscribe to our wonderful free weekly Loving Miracles newsletter at http://www.AnnetteColby.com

There’s a new trend in psychology with a specially coined phrase called bibliotherapy. This refers to the basic premise that reading is a healing experience. Of course, every reader already instinctively knows that reading is a form of personal therapy. Self-help books can help improve our mood, show us new ways to release emotions, provide new perspectives to old problems, and help us cope with problems such as depression, divorce, and chronic illness. A great personal growth book can change the direction of our life. In one way or another, the following list of books touched my soul and made me more conscious of who I really am.

1. Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes. Well ahead of his time, Ken Keyes’ Jr. provided insights on developing emotion coping skills, increasing happiness, and gaining a sense of peace.

2. Theft of the Spirit: A Journey to Spiritual Healing by Carl Hammerschlag. The author, Dr. Hammerschlag, a psychiatrist and healer, speaks the wisdom he gained from working with Native American Indians. An inspirational book on how to make use of the energy source within ourselves for healing.

3. Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I first read this book in the early 1980’s. The energy of higher consciousness contained within the pages seeped into me and woke me up out of the trance I had been living in. Read this book!

4. Screaming Hawk Returns: Flying Eagle Teaches the Mystic Path by Patton L. Boyle. This wonderful book inspires us to listen to the voice of the spirit within, and to search within ourselves for meaning.

5. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated by David D. Burns, M.D. A classic that presents effective stages of change model and shows people how to work through the steps into successful change.

6. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin Seligman. Seligman makes optimism make sense in a dynamic and practical way that is all based on scientific study that makes our lives even better for a change.

7. When Bad Things happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner.  A wonderfully written perspective on life and suffering. This book provides comfort if you’ve experienced the untimely loss of a loved one, or been through any traumatizing life experience. It is personal, thought-provoking, well-written, and very easy to understand.

8. Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. This book was originally published in 1959 yet still inspires. Frankl was a survivor of a German concentration camp. He writes of the spirit deep within each of us, the spirit that is necessary to give life meaning no matter what our circumstances.

9. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. A small book that packs powerful wisdom. The four agreements will resonate within for years to come.

Then there’s the one book that inspired me the most, which is of course…

10. Your Highest Potential: The New Psychology of Understanding and Working with Self by  Annette Colby, PhD. Discover Your Highest Potential and live a life of true personal creativity and heartfelt riches! You will emerge from this book a more peaceful and inspired person.

So, what are the books that inspired you or changed your life? Leave a comment and share with us. We’d love to read what you’ve been reading!!

About the Author: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Dr. Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.