Life is a mystery and I don’t have any answers to explain how some people can inflict unspeakably horrific actions upon other people. Parents betray their children, relatives abuse loved ones, and supposed trusted authorities commit unspeakable acts of violence. How could things like this happen?

Why forgive when the inclination is to seek revenge? Why forgive before there has been a chance to inflict vengeance on the guilty abuser? Why forgive when justice has not yet been served?

So, when we talk about forgiveness, it’s easy for the person torn, bruised, and scarred from past abuse to become angry with us for such an outrageous suggestion.

Forgiveness is an internal affair. The process begins not because it’s the right thing to do. It is not to please some unseen god in heaven. And certainly not because some ‘authority’ tells us to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice made that has little or nothing to do with another person. We forgive entirely and totally for our own sake, not for theirs.

You will decide to consider forgiveness when the need to free your own soul begins to outgrow your need to punish, hurt, or inflict pain on your abuser. Contemplation of forgiveness awakens within when you become tired of being so consumed with the things that have happened that you cannot find peace for yourself. Forgiveness is a way of clearing yourself from the horrid, putrid energy of an abuser that now eats away at your own soul.

How does forgiveness occur? There’s no easy answer and no simple formula. Forgiveness does not happen on its own and time does not heal all wounds. But should you decide you are ready to let go, then answers of how to forgive will come. Even then, it’s a process. You engage in the choice to forgive over and over and over again. Until finally one day, maybe in the near future or maybe not until many years from now, you realize something is different within you. No longer do you live consumed with fear and anger, you now live in a world where love, peace, safety, and joy are available to you. Your abuser no longer owns you and no longer dictates the destiny of your life.

If you can’t stomach the word forgiveness, consider choosing another word. How about the word ‘freedom’? Because that’s what forgiveness is really all about – your choice to free yourself from the hatred, anger, bitterness that lives within you.

If you are not ready to consider ‘forgiveness’ or ‘freedom’ then let me be one to reassure you that your choice is also correct. The path of anger will lead you to powerful discoveries about yourself, who you are, and who you are not.

He who has not forgiven an enemy has never
yet tasted one of the most sublime enjoyments of life.

Johan Kaspar Lavater (1741-1801)

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.