“The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.” -Goethe

Sometimes in life we decide to take a risk and go for something different or something bigger than we currently have. This dream might involve changing a habit with food, alcohol or smoking. Or it might involve a new business venture. Whatever it is, we generally think things through, carefully weigh the pros and cons, and then step forward with an intelligent perspective.  

With action, the risk taking ride begins! 

For the first few days, we’re overly optimistic. There are anticipations that everything will work out, that “I’m going to make a go of this!!” We’re probably okay with a few hiccups along the way—we can handle those—but underneath there’s an expectation that overall the journey will turn out successful. 

The reality is that when we step out into a tough uncharted venture, we risk failure. When we love, we risk being rejected. When we invest, we risk losing money. We risk finding out that things won’t work out. We risk the fear of being seen by others as a failure. When we take the road less travelled, there’s no telling where it will lead. Simply put, sometimes the risk works out grandly right from the start and sometimes it doesn’t work out at all. 

It’s when things don’t work out and don’t match the fantasy of a smooth journey in our heads, that we realize exactly what we have risked. We’ve left our comfort zone, we’re  no longer playing it safe, and as a result we feel unsafe. The old issues of doubt, fear, stress, and low self-confidence begin to surface. 

Perhaps the hardest part of taking a risk is how we handle our ourselves through the journey. 

The only real advice—especially to myself—during times when failure appears imminent is Dare to Love Yourself. It’s difficult when things aren’t going well, but dare anyway. Dare to be your own best friend even through the discomfort of coping when your effort doesn’t pan out. Maybe when all is said and done, the risk taking wasn’t about winning at all. Maybe we ventured forth on our hero’s journey to discover how much love there was beyond the edges of the old comfort zone. Dare to be the one loving yourself for your courage to step out, for your bravery to experience an expanded life, and for just being you.

For Anyone With a Dream to Achieve, A Challenge to Overcome, Or An Obstacle to Surpass…

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5 Ways to Relieve Anxiety

by Dr. Annette on October 18, 2010 · 6 comments

AnxietyTrust in Yourself
It is easy to lose trust in your body, in life, in yourself when something undesirable happens. In an instant we can become tense and tight, constricting inward in an attempt to protect ourselves from harm. But what if you truly believed that everything that occurs in your life is created by you? What if when you felt the familiar clutching of your heart, you took a breath and believed that everything that is occurring is serving your larger purpose. What if the events or feelings are a way of allowing the purging and release of old perceptions and paving the arrival of a new and higher way of living and being? What if you believed the feelings are an opportunity to gain trust that you are capable of making choices that lead to following your dreams, valuing your innermost beliefs, and enjoying the direction of your life? 

Breathe
When feeling anxiety, decide to take several slow, deep conscious breaths. Take a deep breath and hold it for a couple of seconds, then release it slowly and steadily. Then repeat those deep slow breaths two or three more times. Sometimes, when people begin to breath, they feel resistance. They say, “No! I don’t want to!” Or, “This isn’t going to help at all.” Then their whole body tightens up once more. That’s all right; it’s common and nothing to worry about. If that happens, just begin again. Breathing helps move stress, and leads you out of your worried mind and back into your spirit.

Go Into Nature
When you feel anxious, create time for healing and letting go by going for a walk in nature, sitting beneath the trees, or watching the water. Sit with the Earth and let her listen and provide comfort as you softly express your sorrow. Fresh air and a change of scenery can help you breathe, give you access to the healing power of nature, and get you through at least part of the day.

Write Down Your Thoughts
Writing allows pent-up emotions to gush out. While this eruption of emotion can be scary, the energy begins to dissipate. Your writing doesn’t have to be profound for this to happen. The act of simply writing your personal thoughts helps empty the large reservoirs of energy connected with the difficult experience of depression. As writing continues, the thoughts, emotions, feelings, or physical sensations will weaken. The intense charge will decrease. The intensity will drain from within. When the energy lessens, you’ll see that you survived. You may feel a sense of release, letting go, or relief. You may be more comfortable with having those feelings.

Talk Out Loud
Unexpressed, unspoken swirling thoughts leave you more frustrated, more stressed, and more trapped. Nobel Prize winner Hermann Hesse (1877–1962) stated, “Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.” Talking out loud is a tool that helps us move through challenging situations. The expression of thoughts into audible words moves out the heavy energy. The next time you’re feeling caught in the middle of some dark energy, talk out loud. If you know someone who is a good listener and has the ability to accept your thoughts and emotions, great! But if a friend is not available in the exact moment you need him or her, take care of yourself by putting your thoughts and emotions into spoken words. Hearing your own voice provides healing presence.

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Boredom EatingDo you find yourself wanting—in fact needing—to sink your teeth into something not because you’re hungry but to fill that awful hollow inside yourself? 

The type of boredom that feels so unbearable that it drives us to the point of wanting to push that awful feeling way with food, is a sign of our soul trying to wake us up. It is an attempt by you—the larger you—to step out of old habits and beliefs into brand new adventures. 

The Silver Lining in Boredom
Boredom is our attempt to create a major change in the course of our life. At some level we wish for ourselves to be more—more relaxed in life, more joyful, or more engaged in personally meaningful pursuits. However, this yearning for change often comes from a deep subconscious place, a place that is not yet in our conscious minds. This yearning for change comes in the form of a feeling, and that feeling is boredom. 

Unbearable Boredom and Eating
As the boredom becomes stronger in its attempt to communicate with the conscious mind, it generates increasingly intense feelings and emotions. These emotions if left unheeded become more than uncomfortable, they can often move into the realm of feeling unbearable. 

Afraid to face the intense feelings, and even more fearful of venturing beyond the restraints of our conformist belief systems, it is easy to become trapped in a cycle of pushing down the feelings of boredom with food. Yet food will not and cannot stop the growth that is occurring as our spirit wishes to expand into greater life experiences. 

If we are unwilling or unable to openly explore our boredom, a type of paralysis occurs. Within this paralysis exists a lethargy that stops us in our tracks. The old outgrown habits no longer hold our interest and new choices have not yet been imagined. We sit there unable to move within the paralysis of an internal no-man’s land. It is here, within this paralysis and the intensity of boredom-based emotions that we often turn to food as a method of diversion, distraction, or coping. 

That’s boredom eating, and it quickly becomes a habit that generates its own set of distinct problems that in reality have nothing to do with the root of the core issue. Addressing the eating behavior alone, or attempting to control the eating with repeated dieting will not resolve the issue long-term. The inner desire to move towards expansion and inner growth is an important call from the divinity within that will not quiet until it is heard. 

Trapped Within The Lethargy
We become trapped because we don’t understand what is happening. On one level, our human self probably wasn’t happy about certain aspects of our life, but it was feeling safe going along with life as it was. Things may not have been perfect, but for the human self it may have been good enough. 

We also become trapped because we trained ourselves to ignore the voice of our spirit in favor of listening to the voice of analytical reasoning. Logic only sees the uncomfortable feelings of boredom as something that must be fixed, ended, or stopped immediately. The logical mind is seldom concerned with the long-term results of our choices, rather it’s immediate goal is end the boredom now. The more insistent our spirit becomes in its attempt to communicate, the more resolute our resistance becomes. A stalemate ensues until one day we realize that if we don’t do something different, we will drown beneath the heaviness of our boredom. 

Ending Boredom Eating
So how can we effectively end boredom eating? One suggestion is—perhaps during a part of the day when you are not feeling so overwhelmed with bored—look inside and come up with an idea or two that can get you through the worst part of the day. Feel into those ideas and sense for yourself which ideas hold some excitement or promise. It doesn’t have to be the perfect idea. Just an inner sense that comes from your heart that says, “try this” or “experiment with this.” Then find a way to put those ideas into action. There may be great resistance to doing something new or different, but possibly gathering the support of a friend or partner may help may the journey through the lethargy easier. 

It can also be a great help to get out your journal and write about the feelings you are experiencing. There’s no need to try to change the feeling or fix the problem, just write about what this experience is like for you. Write before, during and after the boredom. Write about the eating. Notice the paradox that although you are bored, you are eating food with little joy and little attention and probably also eating boring foods. Write about what it’s like to feel overwhelmed with the desire to eat. Write afterwards when you feel stuffed and ashamed that you overate once again. It takes quite a bit of courage to say hello to your boredom and to your boredom eating and to give both a voice. Yet is it listening and expressing that is healing. 

To stop boredom eating involves cultivating an inner maturity of realizing the benefit of long-range personally meaningful desires, goals, and pursuits. We liberate ourselves from the need to eat to avoid our feelings when we take the time necessary to connect with deep inner urges. As we replace old habits and beliefs with self-important choices, then boredom eating naturally evaporates. 

Are you ready to stop hating food and start embracing life? Dr. Annette Colby’s  workbook, Body Redesign: Goal Setting Secrets for a Thinner, Happier You is a self-help workbook that shows you how to overcome old sabotage patterns, food addictions, weight issues, and boredom eating. If you’ve been looking for the book that will provide you with an enlightening plan for feeling empowered with food, emotions, and your body, look no further than Body Redesign. It’s never too late to be the person you always wanted to be!

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Increase JoyI’ve had a migraine for four days now. Then my big orange cat Solomon, who is thoroughly frustrated by the fact that I brought a dog into the household, lashed out and left a long scratch down my forehead. Ow. While I could dwell on the negative aspects of my painful head experience, I prefer to move through my day with as much joy as possible despite the headache. No matter how irritating the pain, life is now. We all have our own challenges, but we owe it to ourselves to make the most of each day.  

Below is a little list of 50 items that includes some of the little things that add joy to my day. EnJOY and please add your favorite joy actions to the comments section below. 

1. Bring in large doses of compassion.

2. Take a deep breath, accept the situation, and find ways to be tender to self.

3. Go for a walk.

4. Play with the pets. Enjoy the look of appreciation in their eyes.

5. Water the plants outside.

6. Work on a non-thinking creative project.

7. Take time for others.

8. Drink plenty of fluids.

9. Send someone a hand-written greeting card.

10. It’s time to step out the routine and add self-pampering.

11. Take a hot bath even if it is the middle of the day.

12. Donate old books to the library.

13. Dance like a fool to some silly song on the radio.

14. Make the decision not to dwell in self-pity.

15. Smile.

16. A gentle reminder that this too shall pass.

17. Appreciate the details that are going well.

18. Feel the truth of what is going on, but also give permission to allow joyful moments.

19. Find joy in nature.

20. Create joy in everyday moments.

21. Sing a familiar uplifting song.

22. Stop and smell the roses.

23. Sit in the sunshine.

24. Place energetic focus on something that inspires the heart.

25. Clean the house.

26. Buy something beautiful.

27. Rearrange the closet.

28. Relax under the stars.

29. Be kind to self and others.

30. Practice relaxation.

31. Paint a picture.

32. Use the good china.

33. Honor the body by listening to what it wants to eat.

34. Look at pictures of loved ones.

35. Have a day without email or computers.

36. Call a loved one just to say “I love you.

37. Ask your soul what it wants to do today.

38. Don’t expect perfection. Not every day is filled with sunshine.

39. Call a friend and share the feelings, both good and bad.

40. Instead of running a boring errand alone, take a friend along and watch the smiles increase.

41. Go for a drive with the sunroof open.

42. Take a nap.

43. Swing on a playground swing.

44. Cook a meal. There’s something soothing about chopping and dicing. 

45. Take many deep conscious breaths throughout the day.

46. Dress up.  Who doesn’t feel better when they’re in a great outfit?

47. Do something for someone else.

48. Find ways to laugh throughout the day.

49. Tell yourself, “I believe in you.”

50. Remember you’re alive. That in itself is joyful.

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feelings inventory |

by Dr. Annette on August 31, 2010 · 3 comments

Feelings Inventory Marshall RosenbergThe following are words we use when we want to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.

There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met. 

Feelings when your needs are satisfied

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open hearted
sympathetic
tender
warm

ENGAGED
absorbed
alert
curious
engrossed
enchanted
entranced
fascinated
interested
intrigued
involved
spellbound
stimulated

HOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic

CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secure

EXCITED
amazed
animated
ardent
aroused
astonished
dazzled
eager
energetic
enthusiastic
giddy
invigorated
lively
passionate
surprised
vibrant

GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touched

INSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonder

JOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased
tickled

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
enthralled
exuberant
radiant
rapturous
thrilled

PEACEFUL
calm
clear headed
comfortable
centered
content
equanimous
fulfilled
mellow
quiet
relaxed
relieved
satisfied
serene
still
tranquil
trusting

REFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
restored
revived

Feelings when your needs are not satisfied

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn

DISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset

EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious

FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out

VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
PNonviolent Communication: A Language of Lifehone: +1.505.244.4041

The Center for Nonviolent Communication is a global organization that supports the learning and sharing of NVC, and helps people peacefully and effectively resolve conflicts in personal, organizational, and political settings. What I especially admire about Marshall Rosenberg’ and his NVC organization is his contributions to the creation of world peace through peaceful conflict resolution. If you haven’t read it already, check out his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life available at Amazon.com

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Five Tips for Surviving Depression

by Dr. Annette on August 13, 2010 · 3 comments

DepressionDuring the depression experience, there is no normal, 100%, happy day like there once was. Instead, there is a depression process that has its lows and then there are the really, really lows. Every once in a while there is a happy moment. Overall, the journey requires finding your best way through a truly difficult experience.                               

Unfortunately, there is not one right way to navigate through the overwhelm of depression. Each person experiencing their journey must reach both outward and inward for support. Below are five powerful tips that can help you discover your own unique approaches to help you cope with the rough patches of depression.

Accept the Situation
If you’re like most people, you really don’t want to accept the situation. After all, this experience feels so terrible you don’t want to accept it. You want to fight it. You want to push against it. You want to do anything to make it to go away. Struggling against depression is an automatic and immediate reaction, however, it is a reaction that only makes you sink deeper. There is a way out, and that way begins with acceptance. Acceptance brings you to a place of stillness to assess the situation from a non-reactionary perspective. 

Prioritize Your Obligations
There are a lot of obligations in our day-to-day lives, but during depression some of those less than critical obligations need to be set on the back burner. Of course, you want to do it all, to live your “normal” life, but acceptance helps you recognize that this is not your “normal” life. You are in a depression process. Carrying too many obligatory “should do’s” will weigh you down, pull you under, and slow down the healing process. So lighten up your load by eliminating all those less than top priority essential actions. Even though you are depressed, you still possess the ability to discern which of your life activities must be sustained, which activities might even be helpful to continue, and which activities must be set aside. 

Breathe deeply
Depression easily keeps your body, mind, and spirit in the quicksand grip of worry, anxiety, fear, and overactive thinking. Learning to manage your breathing is a core skill necessary to lower the stress and calm down. Deep conscious breathing gets you centered and helps you get out of your own way. Breathing is the lubricant that disentangles fear, lifts out heaviness, and brings in hope. With some of that heaviness dispersed, you feel a little lighter, a little more energized, and a little more capable to get through the day. Don’t worry about finding the right way to breathe, just allow yourself to take slow deep breaths often throughout the day and especially when things feel overwhelming. 

Self-Talk that Works
Go to the nearest mirror and talk to your body, your mind, and your spirit. Acknowledge the difficulty of your situation, and thank your body, mind, and spirit for doing their best to help you get through this. 

Your body, although it feels terrible, is not the cause of your depression; it’s the part of you that carries the physical effects of the depression process. Your body must deal with the stress and overwhelm of depression, as well as the lethargy, emotional effects, and aches and pains. Let your body know that you appreciate the hard work it’s doing in helping you move through this experience. 

Also talk to your logical mind with compassion. Your mind is most likely overtaxed and overwhelmed trying to figure out a solution to end this depression. Since depression is a process, there aren’t any mental solutions that your mind can produce to suddenly end this experience. In the mirror, tell your mind that you appreciate all the logical efforts and intellectual attempts at solutions. Let you mind know that it hasn’t failed you, but instead there are no mental solutions that will quickly end depression. 

Lastly, speak with your spirit. You will know instinctively what to say. Offer your spirit gratitude, a plea for help, or even offer your anger. Communication with all parts of you will keep the depression process moving forward. 

Healing Spirit of Nature
Take one walk a day, in a park or natural setting. While you are outside, notice anything that strikes you as colorful, interesting, or pleasing to your senses. Feel the wind on your skin, notice the temperature of the day, smell the flowers, feel the grass beneath your feet, listen to the leaves rustling in the trees, or sit by a creek and watch the water flowing by. Because you are depressed, you may not be able to experience happiness as you once did (and will again), but nature opens your senses and gently heals your wounds. When you don’t know of anything else to do to get yourself through the day, take yourself  outside. 

Depression interferes with life and routines, and disrupts emotions. If you are having a difficult day look both within and without to help you survive. Ask for support. Reach out and be honest. You might be surprised at how many people have been where you are right now. Also reach within and notice the best ways to take care of yourself. 

Depression FreedomAre you looking for new ways to end depression? Even if you are angry at yourself for being human and have lost all hope, Depression Freedom shows the gentle steps you can take to skillfully lead yourself through depression and restore the joy of living. It is impossible to read this book without being changed by it. The inspiration within these pages will captivate you and be the inspiration you need to stop the reign of darkness and embrace a new celebration of life.

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Activate The Power of Your Imagination

by Dr. Annette on August 2, 2010 · 3 comments

ImaginationOne of the greatest creative gifts that you already have is the power of your imagination. It will take you to grand places and it will align your desires with love. Your imagination forms new potentials about how you want to live your days on Earth, how much joy you want to have, and how much abundance.

Imagination isn’t structured thoughts or a visual picture of what you want. It is an experience of wandering anywhere your heart and soul choose to go. Imagination is a living relationship with what you want. It’s a new potential for a completely new way of experiencing living life, imagined right here in this present moment.

If you are having a difficult day, if you are stuck and don’t know what to do next, if you have depression and darkness, it can be so easy to get sucked deep down into the pit of doubt and despair. Don’t struggle to get out, because struggling only makes matters worse. Don’t get stumped because you don’t know the specific steps of how to get what you want. Rather imagine connecting with the grandness of who you are. Imagine yourself already living the way you would prefer to be living right now.

Imagination works to create a new potential that did not exist before. It’s like a bubble of possibilities that you produce from the inside out. As that potential takes hold and matures, the first step will naturally show itself to you when the time is right.

Imagination is your greatest tool and it’s with you right now. Imagination unlocks the creative energy within that adds spark to your life, along with purpose, new direction, and confidence. Each day make the effort to not focus so intently on the lack of what you most want, but on imagining the potential of, “I can have what I want.” 

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Self ConfidenceMany of us are taught that the way to increased confidence is to erase the negative thoughts from our minds. We’re trained to block negative thoughts, and only think positive ones. But stopping negative thoughts only creates an imbalance in energy. It denies what is real, and creates false positives. 

Negative thinking does not cause self-doubt. Doubt is a suppression of self. We suffocate who we are, jamming up energy in the body, clouding over vitality, and leaving life dull and passionless. We end up feeling compressed, small, trapped, and stuck. 

The best way out of doubt is to begin going back into yourself, into what you truly know and feel about yourself, and then express it. One way to create this path of self-expression is to use compassionate self-communication. It’s not about eliminating negative thinking, but about being truthful about your current situation, and also supporting yourself in an honestly encouraging way. 

Self-supportive conversations involve talking to yourself, your body, and your mind in a way that you are your own best friend instead of worst enemy. It’s about deciding to believe that you deserve to succeed rather than fail. If you’re filled with doubt about who you are, or why you’re here, reconnect with the truth in your heart. You are safe in this very moment, and tomorrow will come. Breathe, let go, and venture into your heart where you will find the love and calm you seek. You are deserving of feeling good in your body, worthy of focusing on joy, worthy of receiving blessings and abundance.

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Awakening to Your Inner Wisdom

by Dr. Annette on July 20, 2010 · 1 comment

Inner GuidanceWhat is spiritual guidance? How can we find our own source of inner wisdom? How do we know when our intuitions are true? 

Each one of us was born with an innate inner wisdom that guides our lives and serves as an inner measure of personal truth. Inner wisdom is that part of us which is beyond our rational, logical and analytical mind. It’s that inner sense of knowing what is right for us, even though there is no advance proof that we’re making the right decision. Inner wisdom is a feeling of peace even within a difficult situation. It’s the clarity we need to help us move through stress or unanticipated challenges. 

Why Do We Feel Disconnected from Our Inner Wisdom?
If inner wisdom is so powerful, why is it often so elusive or difficult to trust? One reason we don’t trust our inner wisdom is because it directs us to make choices that are aligned with independence and autonomy. It is our inner voice leading us down the path of personal meaning and fulfillment, while at the same time leading us away from the most popular, comfortable or safest path. Our inner wisdom guides us away from conformity and control and moves us toward new experiences and choices. 

Inner wisdom is often elusive as a result of years of neglect. Having shut down parts of ourselves, we often place everyone else’s needs and desires above our own, or habitually place personal priorities and dreams at the bottom of our to-do list. With all this busy activity, we may rarely take time to be still, breathe, and tune into our own dreams and inner guidance. 

In addition we have lost faith in our own ability to trust our hearts and bodies. With this loss of faith, we readily turn to outside sources of information above our own inner sense of guidance. For instance, we trust experts telling us what, when and how much to eat, how to take care of our bodies, and even what to think and say. We dismiss our own inner wisdom for the perceived comfort or ease of letting others be responsible for our choices and actions. 

Reconnecting
Although others may have great ideas and suggestions, when it comes to knowing what is best for us, only we know the answers. It is by learning to listen to our inner wisdom that we take back the true direction of our lives. Each of us has the ability and wisdom to make our own decisions, whether or not those decisions fit in with popular positions. 

How do we get back in touch with our inner wisdom? Inner wisdom thrives in an atmosphere of self-love, patience, and acceptance. To listen, we give ourselves permission to hear our inner wisdom and permission to connect with our personal power. In addition, we quiet the mind and gracefully allow our inner wisdom to present itself in an unrushed and unforced naturally flowing manner. 

Often we connect with our inner wisdom in a variety of ways, without even knowing that we do so. For example, inner wisdom shows up in dreams, daydreams, or ideas that come from outside of the logical mind. Inner wisdom can be a meaningful coincidence or synchronicity. Have you ever picked up a book, opened it at random and read a sentence that has a powerful effect on you? Or perhaps turned on the television, flipped through the channels, and then suddenly stopped on a show that seemed to speak directly to you? These are all open avenues of communication from your own inner wisdom to your conscious mind. 

Listening to your inner wisdom is a habit that takes time and patience. To build trust with your inner wisdom, relax and be gentle with yourself. Make time to breathe, set your anxiety, worry, or stress aside, and ask, “What will make me happy?” or, “What is my next best step?” When you hear your answer—which may or may not appear in that exact moment—acknowledge your wisdom and take action. Remember, no one knows better than you what is best for you.

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depression and acceptance One of the hardest things to do is to find an empowering meaning while going through depression. In truth, while in the midst of depression, it may be impossible to answer the questions of “why depression” or “why me?” 

Everything has a reason, and depression has one, too. However, the reason for depression may not become apparent until long after the experience has passed. Even as you question why you have been thrust into the pits of blackness and wonder why nothing gets any better, there is deep meaning and value to your experience. Depression is an experience that goes far beyond a chemical imbalance or a clinical condition.

With depression, our first tendency is to resist the unacceptable pain and darkness that goes along with the experience. We want to fight and strive to make things different. We don’t understand why we are depressed or when it will go away. However the non-acceptance is a conflict between how things actually are and your image of how things should be. This lack of alignment generates an additional sense of anger, frustration, hopelessness, and pain on top of an already complex situation. 

How does one accept something that is so painful? Even if a person wanted to, how does one actually do it? Accepting the reality of depression can be very difficult. Yet adopting such a perspective allows you cope with the situation. This means adapting to your depression and learning new ways of taking care of yourself in the best way you can. 

Rather than giving in to passivity and complete helplessness, or continuing with unsuccessful attempts to fight your depression, acceptance allows you to face reality and tell yourself, “All right. This is how things are right now, right in this instant. What actions can I take in this moment to take care of myself even while I’m feeling depressed?” 

Things may not become clear until you are able to look back on them with hindsight. One day, you will reflect upon this miserable experience and realize that your depressive process was a pivotal change process in your life. For now, take a breath and be open to the idea that your depression has meaning. All of your life is on purpose. Depression is a process and the more you know about that process, the more you can help yourself move through the experience. 

Depression FreedomIf you or someone you know is depressed, Depression Freedom is a powerful book that reveals new insights about the nature of depression… and how to move through it.

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